Don’t you know it’s important to have an education?

Don’t you know it’s important to have an education?

You are ruining your chances of getting a job.

Why don’t you have lessons?

It’s important to go to school.

You are ruining your life…

I swear if I hear these phrases one more time I will scream!

‘B’ belongs to several websites, some of which she plays on, others she chats on, like most kids her age. She has made friends with a few people but she has become very hesistant to mention that she is home-educated when they ask what she did at school, why she is up so late on a school night etc. etc. Why? Because as soon as she mentions it, she is bombarded with these types of questions or negative comments.

They simply won’t respect that everyone has a choice and this is our choice (note I said OUR choice). She has to justify why and how and what she is doing. Most seem to think she is ruining her life. They simply don’t get it…

Initially I pulled ‘B’ out of school because they clearly had no idea how to help children on the spectrum survive the school system, their so-called experts not having a clue about the intracacies of our children’s lives, trying with all their might to tick those precious boxes they love so much. But to be honest, the deeper I dug the more disillusioned I became with the whole education system, most of it based on targets and budgets. I wanted my child to be able to have her own opinion, I wanted her to feel she has some value to add to society instead of constantly being compared to her peers in terms of what they deemed as successful. I wanted her to be able to solve problems, to think outside the box, to learn through investigation and experience, to be able to understand the true function or importance of something in relation to the real world. I wanted her to be… well quite simply… herself!

These people get very angry with her because she doesn’t have traditional lessons. Her learning is embedded into activities, we have no need for lessons. They condemn her because she isn’t taking exams. She finds it all overwhelming… we never ask them to justify why they feel the need to go to school, doubtless if we did ask them, the reply would be something along the lines of ‘Because that’s what I’m told to do, that’s what we are meant to do.’ Some of them have turned quite nasty and been very unkind to her… she is neither stupid or idle!

As the saying goes, there’s more than one way to skin a cat and that’s the premise we are working on… we didn’t go into this blindly, we know what we are doing. For example, she is only 12 but we have already put the wheels in motion for long-term work experience once she is 14 (health and safety rules). She has many ideas of her own how to secure self-employment, even at this age. I have faith in her, she isn’t going to rot on the heap, she knows it takes hard work and she’s willing to do it too. She also knows that to be successful isn’t dependent on how much you earn or what kind of house you live in or car you drive, it’s much more than that.

And to be honest, if you ask around, alot of home-educators, like myself, are teachers anyway. What does that say about the education system?

HOME-EDUCATING AND PROUD TO BE DOING SO!

Till next time

‘B’s Mum

We did it our way…

Been a while since my last Blog, been trying to get our heads around where/how to start our home-ed, trying to get into a rhythm which took longer than I anticipated (maybe that was just my naivety), but in the end it just kinda feel into place by itself…

College began in September: I’ve had one daytime class to teach and one (out of possibly two) nightclasses to teach. Add to that one course (nightclass) I’ve had to do. Try to squeeze in some Design Work. Clinic on a Tuesday (trying to build up a Healing Practice) and most important of all, home-edding ’B’.

Now I feel we’re left ironing out the bumps!

I have to be honest, it didn’t all go smoothly in the very beginning. Gave her 6 weeks to get school and school-ways out of her head (and mine!). After half-term it was time to get cracking but to my horror I was faced with a very resistant daughter! I told her that if this was going to work then she needed to co-operate and work with me.

As a teacher I am aware of different learning styles and it seemed logical to work out ‘B’s style so I could deliver her education in the most effective way. We’ve taken a few weeks trying different methods and I think we finally cracked it at the weekend.

’B’ struggles to write anything down, her brain goes faster than her hands, she sees it in her head how she wants it to look and it never comes out that way. With ‘B’, it has to be right, there is no compromise, no inbetween, if it doesn’t come out like it looks in her head then she gets cross with herself and inevitably stomps off! Also the sound of a pencil/pen on the paper is akin to us hearing someone scrape chalk across a chalkboard, it’s a painful audio experience, remember ’B’s got incredibly sensitive hearing!

She can type really fast for a 10 year old so most of the time I get her to type out her work.

We’ve been studying blood this week and used one of her favourite resources, the whiteboard. I’ve found delivering her work in bitesize pieces works best for us, just dig out the hard facts, forget about ifs, ands and buts and enhancements. We created a kind of flowchart and it worked great. She retained the information and enjoyed the whole process!

So here’s where I nearly came unstuck, OK so how to save this flowchart so we can build up learning evidence for the Local Education Authority? Obviously too big to scan! Tried photographing it, couldn’t get it all in focus – it’s an A2 whiteboard! Tried to get her to try and write it in her book – not going to work either.

Was talking to my sis-in-law about how to proceed. She said what about sticky labels? Went home pondering on that one, mmm, had potential but needed more thought. Anyway I was wandering around Tesco on Sunday and there it was, right in front of me, Post-It Notes!!!!!!!

Arrived home with a very large supply of Post-It Notes. Simple, just recreate the flowchart using Post-It’s. She loved it, said it was fun and when could we do the next one? Sorted!!!!!

It’s so simple that it should have been the first thing I thought of. If she made a mess or a mistake it was easily remedied, new Post-It Note. If it didn’t all fit properly on the page when she finished, we simply repositioned it. Then all she had to do was put in the connecting lines. And it looked really neat too (she hates it if it doesn’t look neat).

We have our first meeting with the LEA on her birthday in a few days. I was dreading it, thinking they were going to crucify us because we hadn’t done enough work etc etc but now I feel we’re going to be OK. We now have a plan of action in place. So wish us luck, we’ll let you know how it goes!

Till next time
’B’s Mum

Rome wasn’t built in a day

OK, so although school started this week, we haven’t started home-ed yet…

‘B’ needs time… time to adjust. Remember we’ve only just decided to home-ed. I think the reality of it kicked in (for both us) on Tuesday. We were getting ready to drop ‘B’s dad off to do a Mind Body Spirit Fayre, we were loading up the car and I think it was then that ‘B’ noticed everyone going to school (and it hit home). Me, I had to shake the feeling that she wasn’t ‘skiving’, I know it sounds silly, but I did have to remind myself that I don’t have to run around in the shadows, I can stand tall and proud and say ‘we home-ed’ if anyone challenges us.

It was then that I realised how much conditioning has been going on, for all of us. We need time to get our heads out of the traditional educational pattern and get ourselves into our pattern, and that our pattern is going to be ‘B’-shaped! What does ’B’-shape look like? Mmm, kinda random and certainly unusual!!!!

At the end of last week I was convinced I needed to be more organised and get some sort of semblance of order if this was going to work. Today I’m thinking, why on earth did I think that? We don’t have to follow any timetable or curriculum, we can literally just go with the flow…

We’ve already experienced a certain amount of liberation from our previous constraints, in the form of ‘B’s newly opened willingness to try new things and her new found ability to be able to get into the car and actually go somewhere without having a panic attack or not being able to get out of the bathroom until she’d been to the toilet 20 times (and then if she lost count we would have to start again or in most cases just give up and stay home). We went to Southwold’s Maize Maze and had a wonderful time, it’s been sooo long since we’ve been able to go anywhere further than 20 minutes away, in fact, that outing has turned into one of our first home-ed projects, she took loads of photos and asked loads of questions… this is a way she enjoys learning…

’B’ was also a stickler for routine, as with most children with any type of Autistic tendencies. Again this hit me out of the blue, a new word for us… spontaneity. Yes, we have achieved this a few times already. I think I’m beginning to see the full impact of the stress she’s been under, I knew she struggled with school, but I’m seeing a whole new ‘B’ emerging already, things can only get better right? I’d rather have a happy laid-back ’B’ than the little girl that was around this time last year!

As my title says, Rome wasn’t built in a day… we just need a little time.

I’ve a feeling we’re going to be OK.

Till next time
‘B’s Mum

Taking the plunge

It’s been a hard few weeks. We’ve talked and talked and talked about it. We’ve asked family and friends about it. In some ways it’s been both the hardest and the easiest decision we’ve ever had to make…

What am I talking about? Home Ed.

‘B’ has struggled with school ever since she started going. Without going into any of the finer details, we came to the conclusion that no matter how many meetings we have with the school, no matter how many times I try to explain it (and believe me I’ve lost count of the number of times I have tried to explain it), we just aren’t making any progress at all.

I don’t think ‘B’ can take another winter like the last 3, I don’t think I can either. What everyone seems to forget is that I’m the one who has to pick up all the pieces when it all goes wrong…

It didn’t help that we both had different thoughts on the subject. Ultimately we both want to do what’s best for our daughter. It’s a huge responsibility and it wasn’t a decision that we made lightly.

We’ve started looking into Home Ed a long long time ago, I guess I always had a sneaky feeling this was the road we were going to take at some point. So now we have, what does it feel like? In a word, liberating.

We have tried to fit our square peg into a round hole for so long, now it’s time to make a new hole, one that’s ‘B’ shaped. On those days when she can’t bear to wear any clothes we’ll be doing lessons in her PJ’s!

‘B’ is excited, I’m excited, Dad is wary! He learnt along time ago to trust my instincts, he knows we‘re going to be OK.

We’ll keep the Blog updated with how things progress. I’m now off to write an Educational Philosophy Statement for the LEA, I wonder what I’ll put in it?

Til next time
’B’s Mum