Monday, 6 July 2009

Please Don’t Apologise

The few times I find myself mentioning that my daughter has SID to new people, I have found the first thing they say is: ‘I’m so sorry’. Why are they sorry? I’m not…

Maybe I’d better explain a little more…

It’s obvious from that response that people think there’s something wrong with my child. Actually I like to look at it another way.

My child is unique, sure she has problems but hey don’t we all? I have a relationship with my daughter that is so strong, we know each other so well that we don’t even have to speak to know what the other is thinking. I treat her as a little person, not a kid, a person. I ask her opinion, I respect her thoughts. (Now just because she gets a say in everything doesn’t mean she rules the roost, what it does mean is that we respect her opinions and take that into consideration, after all she is part of our family). She has a totally different perspective on things, she takes notice of things others take for granted, she opens my eyes up to all possibilities, she has a beautiful heart, she truly cares for people. We don’t ignore her. In truth, we probably learn more from her than she does from us.

This has caused some of her friends to envy our relationship because they wish their parents took notice of them in the same way. We are not perfect, we are not always right, but we do work together as a family.

Why on earth would I want to change her? I love her just the way she is, as time goes by she is learning how to adapt to her needs and is doing a great job so far.

So next time you come across someone who has a child with any type of disability, and you feel those words forming on your lips, maybe rethink it: have empathy yes, but please don’t feel sorry for us. We are truly blessed with these children.

Till next time
‘B’s Mum