Time Flies…

When we decided to pull ‘B’ out of mainstream education we had no idea how dramatically it would change our lives…

We pulled her out in September 2009, it was a tough decision to make and not one to be taken lightly. My husband wasn’t 100% on board with the idea but ultimately it was mine and ’B’s choice, we were the ones that were going to be doing the work. We were fortunate, in that the work I do (I am self-employed, doing several very different things and don’t have to work full time) made it possible for us to do this, if I had needed to be in full-time employment there would have been no way we could have even contemplated such a move.

I told my husband to trust me and if it didn’t work within a year we could revisit the situation and see what we would do next.

Not only did we have to think about her educational needs but also socialisation amongst many other things. I spent more than a few nights worrying whether we had made the right choice, it was such a responsibility. We found ourselves having to defend our decision to friends and family, who had their own opinions along the lines of ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing? This is her future, what about qualifications? Do you know how hard it is going to be?’. ‘B’ found her friends asking her constantly about what lessons she does, how long does she work, why doesn’t she have to write things down in books, what is home-ed etc etc etc.

On reflection, when she started nursery and even primary school, everyone commented on how smart she was, how much she knew about so many things, how good her communication skills were and that was down to us working together. I had done it then, so was this really any different?

Looking back, the energy I wasted trying to get the school to understand my daughter’s needs, seeing my daughter so stressed out that she wanted to die (yes, that did happen!), I can honestly say, hand on my heart, that if I had known how much it would change her life, I would have done it years ago. 

So how does the new ‘B’ compare to the old?

She is now a happy, confident, relaxed, outgoing, bubbly 12 year old who isn’t afraid to try new things and go new places. Gone are the meltdowns (we have only had one near-miss in 18 months). She hasn’t been sick once (she used to get sooo stressed, it would make her physically sick at least once a fortnight). In fact she hasn’t even been ill! She likes who she is now.

Her obsessive compulsive behaviour has eased dramatically, we only see it surface on rare occasions and then it is only minor compared to what it used to be. Her anxiety is much better too, she has learnt it is OK to let go and cry every once in a while instead of bottling up her frustration and stressing out. Even her SAD has dramatically improved, mostly because I think she is going with her own natural rhythm, going to bed when she’s tired, waking when she’s had enough sleep and now with puberty not far away her body is changing hormonally.

When we reached one year of home-ed I asked ‘B’ if she wanted to return to school and to my delight she said ‘No way!’. Even my husband agreed she was a different child and that we seemed to be doing OK!

Life is good for all of us right now. We are not planning on ‘B’ taking exams, she can do that when she’s ready and if she needs to to get a job in the field she wants to go into. At the moment we are concentrating on building her a skill set that will enable her to set herself up in business, general life skills, using her strengths and helping her identify and compensate for her weaknesses. We have no plans for her to ever go back to school (alot of people seemed to think we were only doing this temporarily for some strange reason)!

‘B’ still has SID, she will always have SID, I don’t believe there is a cure out there but our children CAN function perfectly well, we just have to help them find their own unique way of life…

Till next time

‘B’s Mum

We did it our way…

Been a while since my last Blog, been trying to get our heads around where/how to start our home-ed, trying to get into a rhythm which took longer than I anticipated (maybe that was just my naivety), but in the end it just kinda feel into place by itself…

College began in September: I’ve had one daytime class to teach and one (out of possibly two) nightclasses to teach. Add to that one course (nightclass) I’ve had to do. Try to squeeze in some Design Work. Clinic on a Tuesday (trying to build up a Healing Practice) and most important of all, home-edding ’B’.

Now I feel we’re left ironing out the bumps!

I have to be honest, it didn’t all go smoothly in the very beginning. Gave her 6 weeks to get school and school-ways out of her head (and mine!). After half-term it was time to get cracking but to my horror I was faced with a very resistant daughter! I told her that if this was going to work then she needed to co-operate and work with me.

As a teacher I am aware of different learning styles and it seemed logical to work out ‘B’s style so I could deliver her education in the most effective way. We’ve taken a few weeks trying different methods and I think we finally cracked it at the weekend.

’B’ struggles to write anything down, her brain goes faster than her hands, she sees it in her head how she wants it to look and it never comes out that way. With ‘B’, it has to be right, there is no compromise, no inbetween, if it doesn’t come out like it looks in her head then she gets cross with herself and inevitably stomps off! Also the sound of a pencil/pen on the paper is akin to us hearing someone scrape chalk across a chalkboard, it’s a painful audio experience, remember ’B’s got incredibly sensitive hearing!

She can type really fast for a 10 year old so most of the time I get her to type out her work.

We’ve been studying blood this week and used one of her favourite resources, the whiteboard. I’ve found delivering her work in bitesize pieces works best for us, just dig out the hard facts, forget about ifs, ands and buts and enhancements. We created a kind of flowchart and it worked great. She retained the information and enjoyed the whole process!

So here’s where I nearly came unstuck, OK so how to save this flowchart so we can build up learning evidence for the Local Education Authority? Obviously too big to scan! Tried photographing it, couldn’t get it all in focus – it’s an A2 whiteboard! Tried to get her to try and write it in her book – not going to work either.

Was talking to my sis-in-law about how to proceed. She said what about sticky labels? Went home pondering on that one, mmm, had potential but needed more thought. Anyway I was wandering around Tesco on Sunday and there it was, right in front of me, Post-It Notes!!!!!!!

Arrived home with a very large supply of Post-It Notes. Simple, just recreate the flowchart using Post-It’s. She loved it, said it was fun and when could we do the next one? Sorted!!!!!

It’s so simple that it should have been the first thing I thought of. If she made a mess or a mistake it was easily remedied, new Post-It Note. If it didn’t all fit properly on the page when she finished, we simply repositioned it. Then all she had to do was put in the connecting lines. And it looked really neat too (she hates it if it doesn’t look neat).

We have our first meeting with the LEA on her birthday in a few days. I was dreading it, thinking they were going to crucify us because we hadn’t done enough work etc etc but now I feel we’re going to be OK. We now have a plan of action in place. So wish us luck, we’ll let you know how it goes!

Till next time
’B’s Mum